3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
