just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
