You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
