His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
