Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Go christen that room with your naked body.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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