Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize