Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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