so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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