took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
