who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
