You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize