i jhust puked up my retainher.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
