On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
we should paint friendship bongs
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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