Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
