do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
