i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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