i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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