hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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