I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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