Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
