I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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