True but thats because hes a fetus.
I have demons in me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
