I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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