would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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