I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
