Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize