So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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