I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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