I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize