You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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