U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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