he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
His hands were made for my vagina.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
