My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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