is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
