Even the bartender felt bad for me
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
