i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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