I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
