Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
