Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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