before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
