do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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