On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Randomize
