so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
