Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
