Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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