I'm jealous of your bromance
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we made out on top of his cat.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
