Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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