there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
