Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
