alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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