If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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