their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
