Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
