it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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