k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
