He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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