Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
