it wasn't lemon gatorade
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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