I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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