I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
