She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
