god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she peed on how many people?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
this is an emotional support booty call
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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