it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
