I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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