i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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